I should apologize to you.
I didn’t do this with malice, or even intentionally, but I should apologize.
How any of you put up with me is a mystery. I say that with a bit of humor and seriousness. I cringe when I think of the person I used to be, full of energy for the Lord and for fitness but nearly empty when it came to humility. I remain enthusiastic about both, but there’s a better way to do it, a better way than assuming every thought running through my brain should be shared.
I remember sitting in our weekly bible study (years back), listening to other people and thinking, “Wow, sometimes I should probably be quiet.” That wasn’t in response to what someone said, but rather in realizing the value of A) shutting up and B) listening to what others can say.
After all, Mark Twain said: “It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”
I had a discussion a few weeks ago with a mentor of mine in the faith, a person I hold far above myself in knowledge and experience. In response to Paul’s writing in Philippians that the Apostle knew nothing, my friend told me “Yeah, and we don’t even know that we don’t know.”
That stuck with me.
I’ve been blessed by a wonderful God with a wonderful Bible, knowledgeable mentors and an excellent pastor. I’ve read the Word and studied it and have participated in excellent group studies. I’ve put in some time and I’m thankful to have grown a little.
But I know nothing. I am just now barely aware of how little I truly know, and it is humbling. How could I carry myself like this expert, like I knew something or had done anything? Absurd. I know nothing.
And so the only thing to do is keep on growing.